Review: Horrorstör by Grady Hendrix

Anyone who’s ever worked retail knows that creepy feeling when the store is closed at night. A space just a few hours ago teeming with people all of a sudden empty. Lights are off and shadows dare you to cross them, the slightest sound amplified, the hairs on the back of your neck standing up as you head for the door telling yourself not to look behind you.

Horrorstör takes the haunted house concept and transfers it to retail, injecting (and ejecting) new blood into what’s fast becoming a tired and stale genre. A group of employees are asked to spend the night in the store to investigate strange happenings. As the night unfolds they discover this is one night shift that may never end.

Horrorstör has a lot going for it. Part satire, part social commentary, part pant-wettingly scary horror, it’s got a lot to say but thankfully doesn’t do so at the expense of the scares. We get a fascinating insight into the psychology behind retail as well as the downright bullshit involved in corporate interaction and treatment of employees. We’ve all been there at some stage and lot like Ricky Gervais did with The Office, using those familar mundane events and classic characters we quickly become invested in this story, the beauty of it being that is gets us comfortable on our minimalistic chairs before scaring the living bejeesus out of us. While proceedings are initially lighthearted, things quickly take a turn for the worst and Horrorstör lives up to it’s name, becoming a horrifying and unsettling experience, blending the best in horror imagery with an equally terrifying narrative reminiscent of familiar sources like The House On Haunted Hill, Scream, The Shining and Silent Hill.

Unashamedly fashioned on retail behemoth Ikea’s catalogue (in this story it’s a lesser quality knock-off called Orsk) the book is beautifully designed and peppered with useful maps, employee tips, valuable insight into Orsk operational practices and even some forms you may want to fill out at some stage. Throughout the story we constantly see references to the pretentious furniture names like Kjerring wardrobes, Brooka glassware, and Liripip sofa beds as well as references to modern pop culture, trends and technology that are now redefining how modern horror is evolving.

As a package, Horrorstör works on every level. It’s a fun, hilarious, flat-packed frightfest that dares to think outside the Låda.

Published by Quirk Books

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Book Review: The Geek’s Guide To Dating by Eric Smith

Before I start I’ve got to make a confession: I haven’t dated anyone in 25 years as I am that rare breed of geek that managed somehow to attract and maintain the interest of a human female at an early age, which is why I’m currently trying to write this post with three kids running around my feet filling my house with glee while simultaneously attempting to destroy it.

Having to date again would terrify me beyond belief, but things are a lot different now than they were 25 years ago. Geek culture has advanced toward being a pop culture phenomenon and technology has advanced beyond anything I could have comprehended when I was a teenager. Fear not, lonesome geeks, there is hope – and it’s name is Eric Smith.

The Geek’s Guide To Dating is a beautifully designed and practical real world instruction manual for both the uninitiated first-timer and the more experienced (yet probably still unsuccessful) of our ilk on a quest for anything even resembling romance.

Absolutely teeming with beautiful 8-bit graphics and geek culture references from the more popular T.V. shows and movies and games to more hardcore comic references and even boardgames no-one is left out. Smith cleverly uses these references to obliterate the long existing preconceptions of how women should look and behave (sorry guys Manic Pixie Dream Girl doesn’t exist and you will most likely never date Number 6 from Battlestar Galactica) while firmly implanting an essential need for respect and understanding of the opposite sex.

Referring to the reader as “Player One” from the start, Smith first invites you to select your character and proceeds to advise on how to meet someone in the real world before switching to the more comfortable online social media options, providing invaluable tips, how-to’s and do’s and don’ts on getting to that elusive first date.

Moving on to preparing for an actual date, “Ready, Player One” rightly recommends avoiding the cliched clothing options and opts mainly for the more practical approach although there is a section for the more adventurous including “How To Emulate The Best-Dressed Guys In The Geek Canon”, be it Han Solo (rogueish but classy), Mal Reynolds (suspenders optional) or Neo (you too can transform from Mr. Anderson to The One).

So, suited and booted it’s time for the first date scenario . This chapter initally offers advice from an unlikely source in “By Your Command: A Cylon’s Guide To Dating” which is more useful than you might think, before moving on to a First Date Simulation and hopefully beyond with useful troubleshooting guides and a bonus Boss Level for advanced dating such as moving in together or meeting your newfound love’s family for the first time.

Of course it may not all go to plan. You may at some stage find yourself rejected, dumped or dating outside your species but fear not, there is plenty of sound advice on how to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, buy a Firefly class spaceship and roam the galaxy looking for adventure and fiscally attractive opportunities. But there’s always hope.

Although it is largely aimed at the male, female geeks need not despair either, with a practical guide on how to adapt the book to their own needs and at the very least it provides a valuable insight into what makes us tick for those who may be interested in dating someone a little outside their comfort zone.

Always enjoyable, often hilarious and never condescending, The Geeks’ Guide To Dating is the perfect antithesis of the old-fashioned pick-up manual often seen lurking in the back of comic book small ads, the major difference being – this one could actually work.

Published by Quirk Books

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Book Review: 100 Ghosts by Doogie Horner (Quirk Books)

Once again Quirk Books knocks it out of the park with this beautiful book from the supremely talented Doogie Horner. Doogie is responsible for some of Quirk’s best book cover designs
and 100  Ghosts is no exception.
An hilarious collection of variations on the iconic bedsheet ghost pictures we all know and love we get to see what that ghost would look like when they’re a pirate, or Scottish, or Marilyn Monroe, among 97 others.

A beautifully designed hardcover with a wonderfully simple layout and colour scheme this tome of spectral shenanigans will be loved by all ages and will be on top 10 Halloween book lists for many years to come, including mine (coming soon!).